Sunday, November 17, 2013

Darren's Gremlins

     I am Darren. It’s a stupid name for a dog, I think. But people are people, and what’s a dog to do? The humans same who gave me that name are the ones that moved all of us into the building with things that run in and out of the walls. I was able to catch most of them months ago, with a few bumps on the head when they’d reach the walls first.

     Stupid people laugh at that. But most of the time they also cuddle me and give me snacks, so I chase them out or eat them. There’s only one more to go. I call him Gremlin. I know, terrible name. But I think such a terrible thing deserves a terrible name. This thing likes to sit in the middle of the room, halfway off the floor, mocking me while the humans ignore him. They must be blind: don’t they know the chaos he causes?

     He tore up pillows yesterday. All over the floor. Guess who got blamed for it? He creaks and goes bump in the night. He moves things when they aren’t looking. He sits on their head, and they begin to leak through the nose and stay in bed, instead of taking me for walks. Then who gets blamed for walking on the floor?

     The other day, we went to the park. Gremlin followed us. I didn’t realize it until we were in the car and I was just resting, there in the back seat. Suddenly, the window was opening. I looked over, and there was Gremlin, pressing the no window button. He flew out and I thought, “Great! Good riddance!”

     No such luck. Gremlin doesn't just sit there when he flies. He’s good in the wind. Really good. So I reached my snout out the window, wind in my face, and started snapping at him. Wind in your face feels good. Have you ever tried it? So freeing!

     Sorry, it's hard to concentrate when thinking of that fun. Anyway, the annoying thing thing dances in the wind as easily as it flies. No matter how far I leaned, how quick I was, all I got were bugs in my teeth.

     A tasty treat, but no Gremlin. When we slowed down and pulled over, the thing flew higher. By the time I got out of the car, it was out of sight. Maybe it would stay away. Probably not. Most likely it –

     Frisbee! Oh, we played frisbee for ages. Chased it down one place, brought it back, chased it down again. I love frisbee. It’s like fetch with color. Yes, I see colors. Four of them, in fact.

     Frisbee, yes, frisbee. We were playing when I looked up and saw more Gremlin things falling from the sky. Falling, not flying, falling! I crouched low, tail tucked under, and barked at them. I’m not the only one; the other dogs at the park saw them. All of them were doing more or less the same thing. Except that annoying dog from down the street, who seemed to be trying to jump up and catch them.

     They began to hit the ground, one by one. Their bodies...disappeared, like heat coming off the road. The whole thing took...three, maybe four rounds of fetch. Maybe more. I’m not good at counting.

     My humans began to pet me. They whispered at me, saying my name over and over again. How were they not afraid? Even humans must be able to see this...and then the real reason to fear began. Another thing humans couldn’t see began falling. They were...they were like the little green balls humans throw for us to fetch, at least that size. They were the same color as Gremlin. I heard the thud and squish as they hit the ground. I cuddled up to my humans.

     They carried me to the car and, as they drove, Gremlins came from the new ball things. Little, tiny versions - several from each ball. The air was filled with them. Every living thing around began to be followed by these things - people, dogs, and squirrels in the trees.

     We drove away: some of them began to follow us, but we’d started the car, and drove away too quickly to follow. But they are coming.

     Now I watch through the windows, always there by the window. There’s more coming. More of these little menacing things. Horrible, horrible little gremlin creatures. My humans try to get me outside, but they never will. I have a house to protect. I can’t let those things inside.

     I can’t let them inside.

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